A mother's pain

Title: A mother's pain

Written by: Luchetta (Cookee) Mauus

I love you! I love you with my soul 

Which is why when I see that distant glare in your eyes ,it causes my heart pain

Once full of life I see you slipping away

mentally into a silent death 

And there is nothing I can do!

It hurts to love you 

I keep seeing a funeral of the child I once had, now grown into a man. Drums playing, Weeping, and finally a Hurst. When I gave birth to you this is not how I rehearsed life for you.

I am in between, a tug of war, hanging on to the person you were and the amazing person I know that you could become. This person you are in between is a person that I have never seen!

Saving you it isn't up to me. It is up to God and his will! No one's fate is sealed so, I am believing in a miracle.  I sometimes take trips in the  my mind of you being a baby and me holding you.

Looking into your eyes and stroking tiny hands and feet.  

You are the artwork of God ,  you are an extraordinary gift to me. 

Only this gift 

Somehow got tainted, by life and living

I beg with tears in my eyes to hold on to you, to life,  and I pray god's love will guide 

My son life is a gift from God above to fall in love with yourself each and every day. 

I am your a mother

Your doctor

Your lawyer

Your comforter

I wish I was a Healer 

I don't know any other way to be

I love you so much my child

That loving you, I'm losing me