A mother's pain

Title: A mother's pain

Written by: Luchetta (Cookee) Mauus

I love you! I love you with my soul 

Which is why when I see that distant glare in your eyes ,it causes my heart pain

Once full of life I see you slipping away

mentally into a silent death 

And there is nothing I can do!

It hurts to love you 

I keep seeing a funeral of the child I once had, now grown into a man. Drums playing, Weeping, and finally a Hurst. When I gave birth to you this is not how I rehearsed life in my head.

I am in between, I am in tug of war, hanging on to the person you were and the amazing person I know that you could become. 

Saving you it isn't up to me. I sometimes rewind and take trips in the back my mind of you being a baby and me holding you.

Looking into your eyes and stroking tiny hands and feet.  

You are the artwork of God ,  you are an extraordinary present to me. 

A gift if you will

Only presently this gift 

Somehow got tainted, by life and living

I beg with tears in my eyes to hold on to you, to life,  and I pray love will guide 

Life is a gift from God above to fall in love with yourself each and every day. 

I your a mother

Your doctor

Your lawyer

Your comforter

I wish I was a Healer 

I don't know any other way to be

I love you so much my child

That I'm losing me