Today's Christian want to feel valued. I personally do not claim a denomination. I am non-denominational, which means one thing, I love and believe in God and possess a relationship with him. Church does not define it. I can't tell you to go or not to go, however I will discuss my own true feelings on this issue. Being, I was raised a Christan , I have grown to love, have respect for, and have a relationship with God (Regardless of what anybody else feels or think, thought I should add that in there).
When I was younger, I wanted to pursue my desire to be a minister of the gospel, so I enrolled in seminary and graduated with a BA in church ministry(Unfortunately the degree is useless to the outside world, equivalent to basket weaving). I also hold a minister's license(ha ha I know I know your laughing, however it is true). I wanted to change the world, and and spread the gospel, because God had done some wonderful things in my life.
I was unloved, molested, raped, neglected, and I wanted to make sure the world knew that there was a God who cares and I am living proof.
My endeavors of becoming a minister had slowly became grim, when I ventured out with my degree, and found I was not ACCEPTED by my Christan family! Why? Because I didn't look like a traditional Christian. I had piercings and tattoos and I actually genuinely loved people and I was still down to earth.
Every church I attended, to ask for a start of mentor ship, I was always given a list of all the hoops I had to jump through before they would even consider me, including changing my appearance and covering my tattoos and growing out my hair.
It was discouraging to know you have a burning desire to help people, and the very people who were supposed to accept you, don't.
I gave up going to church for many years and did not want to have anything to do with any type of Christians. Christians I have encountered, were judgmental. They wanted everyone to fit the cookie cutter image of the suit and tie and long flowing dresses,making women look old and unattractive (In my opinion). They wanted people to be perfect and without sin, even though they profess they have sin, and still fall short, they still shunned sinners who sinned the way they've sinned. I didn't fit into the pastoral cliques, where people waited hand and foot on the pastor as if he WAS GOD. I was never one to be a slave to a person. Woman followed the pastor wives wherever they went hoping some of their Holiness would rub off on them.
I could not be a pastor's pet, which means I never moved up the totem pole of the church world hiarchy, Because sometimes I questioned things instead of saying "yes."
If I was in the inner circle, I was so controlled that I could not make a move without pastors saying so.He'd say, "Jump!" I'd say, "How hi?" Left me operating below my standards and what I was called to do.
It wasn't until I went to a women's conference in 2005, where I finally made sense of all the madness. I had the opportunity to be at a prophetic conference where a young woman I have never met before told me that God told her to tell me that I was OK with him, in spite of what people say,or thought I looked like. I was rough around the edges, but God will make those things right, not man. She said I would be great at what I would do to help people. In that moment I realized so many people were wrong about me.
That building does not define my relationship with God and no man do for that matter. I am designed to be a leader and not a follower. I have talents and gifts to offer to the right church at the right time. If they (Church, pastors, and Christians) cannot appreciate it...so what! I am who I am not because of them, but because of God. I can spread God's love outside of their four walls(the physical church).
I can help people outside the church walls. I listen and love people outside church walls. I am not perfect, never claim to be, but I love God. I live for him and not for any man.
I believe everyone should have a place to worship, however at the expense of losing God given identity for clergy to use and abuse, I'd rather stay home and worship my Lord any day!
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